Those rainy hearts
by AcqueCristalline
Summary: Sequel of Anything but love, this time from Al's POV.Please, reviews!


**First, I want to say thanks at who review "Anything but love": cuylerjade (thank you very much!), and a very very special thanks to ArraMidnight! ****It's the same story of "Anything but love", but instead of that, this is from Al's POV. The end, is now much more comprehensible from the other one. ****(I take phrase from a song by Hilary Duff "let the rain fall" I think is called...)**

**Good reading!**

**Those rainy hearts**

Eh, eh... I can't say I'm truly happy now, and I don't even start to be happy... But what's happiness, in first time? My brother is a little harsh to give to it a meaning. I know that even when we will be normal again, he can't be truly happy, and because he will find a reason to stay sad, like mom's not with us, like we can't be a new family, like he burned our home down. I know, he will.

_He will._

Maybe... and maybe he's right when he said "You're a little too optimist... you're too kind with me... you always want to see the good side... you're too nice" Maybe he's right, but I like to be so. If I look at each mistake, each thing gone wrong, well...

Now we still would be inside that house, without nothing but our pity and sadness! That time, he found a way to be strong, _I_ found a way to be strong and I was so happy, so happy because a little spark of life was returned into his sallow eyes! A flash of life filled with hope! Before... before his eyes were so lifeless, just yellow and nothing. Now... now my eyes are so lifeless... just grey and nothing. And I feel so guilty, because everytime brother look into my "pupils", he becomes sad...

Sad.

What's sadness, then, in first time? I can say there's sadness, I can say that into brother's heart there's sadness. I can say this, but I can't say that we _are_ sad. Instead of this, we're desperate. Oh God, if I can cry...

I stop, into this road fills with people. Someone looks at me, everyone's looking at me, like I'm a crazy or something like... Well, when I was little I would think the similar thing to someone who wears an armour... so sad, I can't even feel the rain on me...

I want to cry, to cry, to cry...

Now, why brother... why brother, don't you want to cry!? I would cry if I would be at your place... Damn, you have a body! A _real _body with you can cry! Eyes! Saline water into something that the body made to contain its tears...

Tears when you're sad. Tears when you're desperate. Like us.

_Like us._

You're just like a child... a child who would be an adult... but brother, you're still young! Like me! And like me, like I would, you can cry...

you can cry

you can

I can't

you don't want, and I can't understand. What's so wrong into tears? Into break, into be reassured... and I know... I know sometimes cry is better alone, but...

But.

But not now, and even if you want to be strong for me, even if you don't want to show your weak side, please... please, not in front of me! Don't hold your cries in front of me! I'm your brother_, your little brother_, I care of you... And your heart that slowly is breaking is making me so sad, especially because I know you're doing this for me...

Because of me.

Of me.

Brother, look! I'm crying. Not physically, mentally. But I'm crying. Don't you see, those rainy hearts inside us? Why don't you let the rain fall... Why don't you let _your_ rain fall on your cheek...

Brother, why?

Why? And I don't understand, I can't understand... I can't, because you call yourself an adult, and I know you become angry when someone calls you little since it remembers to you, your "littleness", and then you can't do anything with your little hands...

You could not save me, that time.

You even save this time.

It's this what you're thinking, don't you, brother? I can't understand why you don't cry because you're like a little child who doesn't want to make sad his mom, and he doesn't cry...

But it's not true, isn't it?

The reality's another. And I can't find it. You're keeping me far from your heart... you're keeping me away bec-

_Brother?_

-Brother, what are you doing?- _I opened the door, and I found him sit on the bed, and his eyes... was brother... was... _crying?

-Noth-ing, Al!- _His voice shakes..._

-Is something wrong? Are you okay, big brother?- _What a stupid question! He _isn't _okay! I can't see very well how his eyes are red, and how he's swallowing his own tears... their last life... _-Brother, are you sure to be okay? Your eyes are all red... were you crying?-

-NO! I was not crying! I just... just...-

_-_You were crying, brother. Don't fool me-_ I start to feel angry... he was crying, and he knows that I'm not an idiot, I can_ still_ see very well..._

-Well...-

-You don't have to do this. If you feel like cry, cry then. It's better-

-And don't even think to give an answer like "I'm the big brother! I'm the one who never cry!" Because now, I'm not in the mood to accept that-_ I'm not in the mood! He can't always do this... I'm his brother! I am! I can't reassure him, damn... I still can, even in this body... or maybe... maybe he's afraid of me? He doesn't even look at me... _-Well?-

-I was not crying-

-Yes, you were-

-I was no-

_Stop._

_Stop. This._

_STOP! _

-Stop that! Why do you always do this to me! And look at me when I'm talking!!- _He doesn't look at me! He doesn't look! Stupid, stupid brother... your slight tears are so clear for me! I can... _-You're stupid! You're so stupid, sometimes! Why don't you understand!? No one is hating you! No one! Then, please, don't put all of your cries inside you just because you feel guilty!! We're brothers! Don you remember, right!? Or you forget this, too!?-

_Look at me..._

-Brother, look at me-

-Al...-

_Look at me!!_

-Look at me, damn!-

_He can't... _

He run away.

-Brother!- Suddenly I feel scared. What if I hurt my brother? What if..._ idiot_! If he doesn't want to cry, it's is okay... it's is okay...

_Damn me... it's okay..._

_Sorry brother, sorry brother... _

-BROTHER!!- I hear my voice screams.

It its him.

Its... it its... No, no, no, no, no... it can't be... it can't happened... _it can't..._ -Brother, please... brother, I'm sorry-

Blood, and cries, and blood, and he smiles to me... no! He wants to reassure me... even now... he wants...

-Please, hold on! Please, don't leave me, I'm sorry, I'm sorry...-

_I'm sorry... what can I do? I'm sorry..._

But he said only one whispered word –Mom?-

_Damn!! _

**If you don't understand what really happened, and I know it's stupid, but Ed is hit by a car. Stupid, really. **


End file.
